The Universe answered my calling..

It's finally happend. I've finally reached a point to where I can stop searching for happiness and enjoy it. Most people wait their whole lifetime for the perfect moment to stop and enjoy life. I choose to do it NOW. I look back on my postings a year and a half ago even two years ago and I'm surprised I didn't kill myself. I was so miserable and depressed and I can't believe that was me!

The week of the blizzard, and before I found out he was cheating on me all I wanted was peace in my life and in my soul. I didn't know how I would get it and I was completely lost. I knew I needed to change and I had no idea how I could find what I was looking for. During that same week I heard the Dali Llama speaking about Tiger Woods when he was visiting Obama. He said.... I don't know who Tiger Woods is but it seems to me he has strayed from the Buddha's teachings. It prompted me to do a little search on Buddhism and the first thing I found was something like this....

"Taking refuge is the first step on the Buddhist path to inner freedom, but it is not something new. We have been taking refuge all our lives, though mainly in external things, hoping to find security and happiness. Some of us take refuge in money, some in drugs. Some take refuge in food, in mountain climbing or in sunny beaches. Most of us seek security and satisfaction in a relationship with a man or a woman. Throughout our lives we have drifted from one situation to the next, always in the expectation of final satisfaction. Our successive involvements may sometimes offer temporary relief but, in sober truth, seeking refuge in physical possessions and transient pleasures merely deepens our confusion rather than ending it."

It's what made me turn to Buddhism and I knew it was the answer I needed to climb what felt like a cliff face at the time. I knew I needed to learn how to find the peace that the Dali Llama was talking about. You can read the rest of the excerpt from above here... http://www.buddhasvillage.com/teachings/ly_refuge.htm

The teachings and the words have enveloped me, how can something so simplistic and easy and natural be so hard to find? I haven't even begun to study Buddhism, I've only broken the surface. I know a lot of what I am feeling now is the freedom from any attachments that will hurt me, the freedom of being on my own and relying on myself... the very thing that I feared the most has turned out to be the best thing I could have done!