He said "Yes"!!

Note to a LJ....

Things are great with me! I asked him to marry me this weekend! lol yep.. I did.

Life's good!

I think the hardest part is dealing with my mental issues that I've always had, but buried in exhaustion and alcohol. Trying to keep on top of that is my biggest hurtle. If I let the self-doubt and baggage control me, it's not pretty. He's a very consistent individual, but when I let that sneak in he clams up. He's giving me lots of space to work on myself and become a better person. I guess you could say we're learning each other. I don't think I would have been able to do this had I not moved in with him. It would have been too difficult for sure and too easy to walk away. But learning how to be productive in a relationship with Mikey is very rewarding. It's kinda weird but I've been reading Men are From Mars and other books like it. I've read Men are From Mars before but it really didn't fit my relationship with the X at all. But NOW it does! lol Mikey is a typical Alpha male. Which is exactly what I wanted. Thing is.. that I'm typical Alpha Male too.. I've always had to be the one in control even though I didn't like it. Now I can move over and let him take that roll.. I just have to learn how. It's freakin sweeeeeet! But I'm now learning how to be a girl. HAHAAHAA!! Imagine that.. not having to be in control all the time... I love it!

Why did I ask him to marry me?? specially after I don't want to be the male in the relationship? Because I wanted to show him how absolutely serious I was about him. I told him I never wanted to get married again.. so this is a huge step for me. He knows now that I'm not just living with him and trying to get along with him because it's free rent and someone to occupy my time. Thankfully... he said yes!!