Shut the fuck up and die

I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread. I had a great weekend, the road trip, the friends, the track…everything was great. I started to feel down as we returned. The closer I got to home the worse I felt and I don’t know why. There’s nothing I’d rather be doing so it’s not like I’m miserable at home. I’m not longing for anything else, it’s just I’m so unhappy. Last night I was thinking of writing out a will and whom I would give my stuff to. I’d give all my business over to Ashley, including my new computer. She hasn’t worked for me for long but she really gets it. And that’s as far as I got before I fell asleep. What the hell is wrong with me and why can’t I find the happiness that should be right in front of me? I want to be happy, there’s nothing more that I want in the world. I’d like to say that maybe I’m exhausted from the weekend so that’s the reason. But I don’t even care about sleeping. Is this normal?
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I’ll just recap the weekend and my current situation before I forget.
I spent Friday morning moving all my stuff from one cubicle to another because they are rebuilding the offices to accommodate more people. I can tell you that this move isn’t going to go well. They’re planning on putting me in with the two other Administrative Assistants. There’s nothing worse than that thought at this point.
I finally got to work on my new computer some on Friday night and I’m having problems installing software. I had to quit after awhile because I realized I was spending the whole evening on the computer instead of spending time w/ hubby. I wanted to spend some time with him before I went away for the weekend. Woke up really early on Saturday morning and Scott, Ashley and I all piled in Scott’s STI for the 5 hour trip south. Scott had worked the before so he slept in the back, I drove and Ashley talked the whole way down. Everyone was happy to see us and the weather was really nice. The trophy ceremony went well and afterwards we went back to the hotel and chilled, went to dinner and then went to bed. Me and Ashley in one bed and Scott in the other. We all woke up around 3:30 a.m. when Scott had to call his boss to report the nightly numbers and we stayed up for a little while before we all dropped off to sleep again. Woke up around 9:30 and after getting ready, headed back to the track to say goodbye. We arrived just in time for touring laps so I had Scott take his car out on the track. He was bored silly and only went around 3 times before he gave in. After our goodbyes we drove home, this time Scott driving. I didn’t like sitting in the back. I’d much rather be driving than doing anything else. But at least I got to drive the last two hours because Scott’s back had started hurting. That was fun.Today is a total nightmare. Not only am I severely depressed and having anxiety issues, I’m having to deal with this relocation. The people behind my new area are so loud I can’t think. I hate that my back is to everyone and that anyone can look over my shoulder to see what I’m doing. Because of that my nerves are strung out because people are passing behind me constantly. This isn’t going to get any better. This is a two-phase move. My next move will be in with the other Admins. They both get on my nerves. Can’t these people behind me SHUT THE FUCK UP!