Well.. simply put.. to procreate and die. But it looks like I’ll be missing out on that calling since I don’t plan on making any babies. The following is a comment I left on Ur-Spo’s blog since he was also questioning the “Ordinariness of Life”.
“Wow, seems a lot of bloggers out here are thinking the same thing I have been. Several years ago, I couldn’t stand the thought of my very existence being defined by a long commute, working for the man, cleaning the litter box and picking up my husband’s dirty socks. No one told me that was what being grown up was all about! So I decided to jump outside the box and plowed into the dredges of living on the edge. That turned out to be a life changing half a decade that I’ll never get back.
Having recently returned to the 'normal' every day routine after that chaotic adventure... I'm back to the clock ticking on the wall and the daily palette of our so-called existence. I find that I love the normal hum-drum routine and I’m settling with the fact that I may just have to change the world one small good deed at a time. Besides... who else is going to dust that furniture that we so lovingly and thoughtfully bought and forgot about? “
His post and all of his commentators put into action the lingering question in my head. What are we doing here? Who put this big idea in our head that we…each one of us.. will make a difference. So we all set out running for that dream and most of us get stuck in the mire and then begin treading and become affixed with just that. Every once in a while we look to the shore and remember we were put here for a reason but don’t remember why. We struggle, but again settle back into treading to awaken again at a later time.
If Buddha were alive today, that’s what I would ask him. What are we doing here? What can I do to make myself feel, every day, that I’m accomplished and complete? Or is it.. is it normal to feel this way? I know his answers. He felt the same way. That’s why he left his perfect palace life to struggle, starve and suffer to find the happiness he was lacking inside. It’s all in there, we just need to nurture it every day. Our lot in life is to Act, think, breathe, eat and focus on good and nurturing things. That single minded focus along with everyone else’s single minded focus can change the energy of the world. But I think that we must begin with ourselves and our (your) children.
Someone asked me if I ever missed and ever thought about going back to dancing. I would never go back. I know what comes from that place. It makes it impossible to live a good life when you’re living a lie. I enjoy so much being a complete person not having to split my morals, my life and my focus in two. Life is hard enough let alone going down that dark and dreaded trail. Do I miss the money? Yes, undeniably yes! I miss my car, my fast baby that was always breaking parts because of the massive torque. I hate living on a budget. I didn’t spend all the money I made on myself so it’s not like I lived in luxury. The car was the only thing I splurged for myself. Shit, I mostly spent it on deadbeats that never paid me back or appreciated my efforts to help them out. It’s funny how many more friends I had when I had the dough to bail them out of their problems. I must’ve spent $30,000 on helping others in one year. Ex boyfriends, Ex-friends and Ex room-mates… So maybe I don’t miss the money either. And maybe… that’s karma. Look at how I got that money? Look at where it went to. That being said, I’m glad I am where I am right now. I’m clean, focused and can take care of myself. And I sure don’t miss those hangovers!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I don't think anything we are living and enjoying can be considered menial. I never imagined (except as a very young girl) that I would be a stay at home mom and love it like I do. Sometimes when I think about how others I know are living and how they have such excitement I begin to feel like life may have become routine and menial. Then, I realize I love what I am doing every day and I have excitement too. Life is what you feel it is. If you feel miserable about what you are doing then its probably not good for you, if you are enjoying your routine down to the brushing of your teeth each morning and night then you're doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. About making a difference in the world... each day each person makes some impact on another or on the planet or their pet or their plant or whatever and that is what makes this life. An individual need only feel accomplished in their own heart and mind. Once I decided this was my truth I have become much happier with life.
I still slip, honestly, I forget all this wisdom or something but somehow it comes back to me and I feel good again.
thank you for quoting me; I am honored so !
Post a Comment