digging

I'm digging through the sand I buried my head in. I'm getting unhappier with what I'm finding. And what I'm finding is a stripper named Camy. I've heard comfirmations from several sources that there was a relationship going on. I need the hard evidence now.

I want to pick up and move out but I am unable to afford another place and help with the Mortgage.
I want to get out, I need to get out. I will get out.
Although this has been a hard situation, my realization of the root of my unhappiness and the actions I'm taking to make my life better. I am... in my tummy...happy uplifted. When I think about going back and starting over with him, I feel nauseous. That's how I know I'm doing the right thing.