waking up

crying from a dream Saturday morning was madness. Hubby was just staring at me in horror when I woke up sobbing.
I dreamed that I needed a mans jacket to fit someone who was cold... I can't remember who the guy was. So I found myself in my Dad's basement where the coat rack would be at the bottom of the stairs. For some reason I always think of him when I need a warm coat. But none were in the normal spot, in fact the basement was empty of the old familiar things that would have normally been there. I looked up the stairs and hanging on the back of the door was one of my dad's old flannel insulated coats. I was glad to have found something of his and ran up and slipped it on immediately. I searched through the pockets hoping to find something that would give me a clue as to what he would have told me before he died. I pulled out a mesh hooded shirt and mesh pants... they reminded me of something a bee keeper would wear. I wondered what the heck my Dad was into that he needed these things. Since I was standing at the top of the stairs I opened the door to the first floor of his house. Everything was just as it was the last time I visited the house before my dad died. The TV was on and the old familiar smell of instant coffee touched my nose. I peaked around the corner to see a small bearded man sitting on the sofa just like my dad would have been. My heart jumped right before I realized it wasn't my father sitting there. I spooked him a bit and I quickly explained why I was there. He understood and we talked a while about my father. We took a walk and I asked the old man if he knew what my father was like and he said that he imaged my dad as an old redneck. I laughed and told him that my father was far from that.. he was a sophisticated man who happened to live out here in redneck country. I informed this old man that coincidentally, he looked a lot like my father. He had a slight build, large forehead and white beard. I was about to leave my fathers house when I met the lady of the house. She was short and round and slightly reminded me of my step mother. I quickly hugged her and told her I wish things had ended differently and that I loved her and missed her. I then hugged the strange old man and told him I loved him and left. Shutting the basement door and walking down the walkway my father paved with his own hands sobbing uncontrollably. My father doesn't live there anymore, not even in my dreams.
I remember while my father was in the hospital my step mother stating that they were worried about me. They were worried I wouldn't be able to handle life without him... I'm beginning to think they were right.