In his eyes

Everything I want to be I'm not.
In his eyes
I want to be beautiful.
I want to be fabulous.
I want to be sexy!
I want to be taken care of.
I want to be supported.
I want to be successful.
I want him to be proud of me.
I want him to tell me all of these things.
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If he is, he doesn't tell me. I'm nothing. I'm humbled.
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My vacation from my real job is winding down and I feel like I've worked the whole time. Computers crash, time slips by, I've had anxiety attacks and models quit and models be let go. I've also had great things happen. I've hired new models and had more apply. I'm having a new computer built and a job opportunity open up at the raceway close to my house. I think this could be the opportunity I need that will open up a lot of doors. My life is like a rubix cube. I have to figure out what to move first in order to get the colored blocks all on the same side.
Things will work out. They always do.
xoxxo