I laughed out loud at the suggestion of handwriting my thoughts.
Now I find the need to purge them. They flow so quickly and freely and repetitive. So I spent $20 on a set of 2 ruled notebooks at the airport and I’m using a pen I took from the Hilton this morning. Amazing writing on paper, must remember to thank Marci for this one.
Just before I started writing I found myself becoming emotional at the thought of letting go of all that I was running from for years. Now I don’t even know why or what I was cleaving to. I don’t know why or how I was never taught to be alone. I was taught to take care of myself and be self sufficient. But living and traveling alone were not something brought up in my up-bringing.
Sitting on this airplane alone traveling to a destination that I booked alone – on – my – own is something so fulfilling and easy and simplistic. I have all the tools and know-how and forethought and didn’t even know it.
God I hope this pen doesn’t bust
Letting go of all that was dragging me down. What a privilege that I can actually do so. Most women have children and find it nearly impossible to up and walk away from a person or situation or job that is making their lives miserable. I guess that would be the only reason why she would stay.. other than a disability in the spouse or self.
Letting go of all that has made me ill. I’m sure once there is a space that can be filled by more problems, people, drama. But I know how or I’m learning how to block that out. Living by myself takes care of the majority of the outside drama. No one to rely on = no one to let you down.
I’m reading a book written my a struggling English journalist living in NYC who took a job as a stripper to survive. I wade through her ridiculous overly dramatic prose to find similarity in my life as a stripper. Good God why did I even go into those places? Oh-yeah to please my X. It was a bonding process that spiraled out of control. OR – maybe- it led me to my inevitable happiness here on this airplane.
FIRST RULE OF THE LAW OF ATTRACTION – YOU GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR
Good God – I am going to have to go without coffee for a week. – I might just die! =)
Now I find the need to purge them. They flow so quickly and freely and repetitive. So I spent $20 on a set of 2 ruled notebooks at the airport and I’m using a pen I took from the Hilton this morning. Amazing writing on paper, must remember to thank Marci for this one.
Just before I started writing I found myself becoming emotional at the thought of letting go of all that I was running from for years. Now I don’t even know why or what I was cleaving to. I don’t know why or how I was never taught to be alone. I was taught to take care of myself and be self sufficient. But living and traveling alone were not something brought up in my up-bringing.
Sitting on this airplane alone traveling to a destination that I booked alone – on – my – own is something so fulfilling and easy and simplistic. I have all the tools and know-how and forethought and didn’t even know it.
God I hope this pen doesn’t bust
Letting go of all that was dragging me down. What a privilege that I can actually do so. Most women have children and find it nearly impossible to up and walk away from a person or situation or job that is making their lives miserable. I guess that would be the only reason why she would stay.. other than a disability in the spouse or self.
Letting go of all that has made me ill. I’m sure once there is a space that can be filled by more problems, people, drama. But I know how or I’m learning how to block that out. Living by myself takes care of the majority of the outside drama. No one to rely on = no one to let you down.
I’m reading a book written my a struggling English journalist living in NYC who took a job as a stripper to survive. I wade through her ridiculous overly dramatic prose to find similarity in my life as a stripper. Good God why did I even go into those places? Oh-yeah to please my X. It was a bonding process that spiraled out of control. OR – maybe- it led me to my inevitable happiness here on this airplane.
FIRST RULE OF THE LAW OF ATTRACTION – YOU GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR
Good God – I am going to have to go without coffee for a week. – I might just die! =)
No comments:
Post a Comment