Faulty Memories

While pouring my coffee this morning I was transported back in time to morning coffee with my Dad. I had reheated yesterdays coffee since I didn't have time to make fresh and the smell of left-over coffee reminded me of the instant stuff my Dad would make. He insisted it tasted the same as ground coffee. But instead of coffee with my Dad the presence of my Step-Mother was very strong. A cold chill ran up my spine as I remembered all the harsh words she spoke at the hospital and the frigid realization that she was jealous of me all this time. My breath is short as I type it. I can't help but wonder if my Dad could have lived longer.
A few minutes into my commute more memories flooded back. To thirteen years old when I lived with my real mom. My parents had separated a year before and we were living in our third or fourth domicile by then. My mother had just received her Real Estate Agent license and we were actually living in a house that she was supposed to sell. I don't think she even had the owners permission because we didn't have electricity. My memory was of hiking a mile up the mountain to a little cottage that was owned by a summer vacationer my mother knew. I would hike in the dark to this house to take a shower every evening. Then walk back down to be with my mother and her boyfriend. I remember feeling so scared, empty and alone and desolate! A few weeks later on Christmas Day, my mother packed all of our belongings into a little Chevy LeMans rental car and whisked me away to Kentucky without telling a soul. There, we lived in a roach infested motel for weeks. But that is a whole other story. My heart is heavy remembering this. I know I was helpless in this situation, maybe that's what makes me so strong today. I never want to feel that way again.
What made these memories come back so suddenly? I can't be sure. I know that I have been trying to focus very hard on staying on the right track. Sometimes I stray, like last weekend with my alcohol consumption. I'm convinced I'm not going to have another weekend like that for a while. I need to keep my eye on the prize and make as much money as I can.
I'm also concerned because Casey the club manager sent me a text message on Wednesday evening asking me to come in. I think he's out of his fucking bloody mind, so I ignored it. If he asks me about it tonight I'm going to tell him I lost my phone. This isn't great timing since I want to take next weekend off and I have to ask him for permission. It is firing season and I don't want to enrage him. I'm wondering how much he's going to try to push me into working a weekday. I'm also wondering if I can handle it.... and if it's worth it. Is it? This is where I need to find that post with my priorities listed huh?