Personal Ad

Charming, Witty Crack Addict Seeking Sexy Enabler - 39
I am a white, charming and witty guy who just happens to have a raging crack addiction. If you have seen Pookie in New Jack City, then you get the general drift. I used to have a great job and a good family. That was before the office Christmas party in 2004, though. Let me tell you, accountants work and play equally hard. I figured, what the hell, I am a suburbanite, how could I possibly get addicted to crack? Well, it is easier than one would think. After my divorce and the restraining order, I have decided to get right back up on the horse and start dating again. If there is anything that I have learned in my 39 years, it is that there is no use moping around when something bad happens. I remember one time, as I was purchasing crack from a dealer in southeast, he pulled out a gun, shot me in the foot, and yelled at me to "Dance, you base head, dance for your master!". I could have bitched and complained, I could have flopped on the ground and started writhing in agony, but I did not. Do you know what I did? I danced an old Irish jig that my grammy had taught me years ago, and I did it for all I was worth. I put on quite a show, and by the time I lifted my mangled, bloody foot for the coup de grace, I could tell that that dealer respected me. He sold me my crack, and I limped away, my pride and dignity still intact. The fact that I passed out from blood loss before I could pipe up and that later someone may have anally violated me and stolen my rock does not matter in the least. I was still a man, and I still had my pride. And so, here I am, back on the dating market. I know I will find the woman for me, it is only a matter of time. Speaking of my ideal woman: she should be HWP, likes to walk on the wild side every once in a while and, if she has a brother, realize that when I offer to orally gratify him for $20 or a dime bag, it is not me talking, it is the crack talking. She should also be disease free - this is a big one. As far as I know, I always use protection, because I care about my body. Also, she should accept me for who I am. I am pretty much up for anything, from staying home at night and cuddling on the couch to hanging out in seedy urban crime centers begging for dimes. In short, she should be a go with the flow kind of person. I hate to have to add this part: but, no kids, please! This is a deal breaker. Ever since I tried to sell my own children to my crack dealer, the courts have forbidden me from being around children at all. Pretty unfair, but that is life sometimes. My ideal mate should also have lots of nice stuff - she should be a woman of fine taste and discernment. Her stuff should not be so heavy, though, preferably smallish in size, and not so hard to carry. Ideally, her plumbing fixtures and pipes should be copper, and not brass (brass is so tacky, and is not worth nearly as much). I am slender and exude an intense energy. My lips are cracked and sort of whitish, but they are soft and made for kissing, and sucking. If, like so many of the women I have met here, you are uncomfortable with me hitting the pipe in public, maybe after a fine meal or at the theater, I can try putting the crack in a real pipe and smoking it that way. In other words, I will go the extra mile to make you happy. Holla back at me, ladies, before I sell my laptop. Charles the Crack Addict